Who is an outcast

Well, I am an outcast. Not kicked out by society, I'm an outcast to myself. How many times have I tried to hide from God because I felt that I did wrong.

He of course knows what I do before I do it, but it is human nature to hide from our mistakes and not want that spanking so to speak.

We tend to hide in ourselves, looking for those dirty rags to cover ourselves with. But they are not there. Through the Blood of Jesus, we are now clothed in white and perfect in God's eyes.

So it is a daily battle, for me anyway, to beat down the flesh and try to see myself in God's eyes. Through the Revelation that fills me with His light and the Redemption that fills me with Life through God's grace in the Blood of Christ.

Mindset
Broken by the weight of the world, drowning in its sea
Treading in a bottomless pit of mire, but still not forsaken me
And times when the brain is saturated by the lies it receives

Awaken this mind oh Lord

Protect it from the wicked I seek
Protect it from the wicked I reap

Renew in me a new set, a new way and a new flow of thought
Teach me oh God to lay down my hands to allow a mind wrought

But flesh is its own master, isn’t it?
Walls, limitations, a grandiose knit
Never far from the sin has that kept me in this pit

Still I work and still I struggle to lay down self
And put my debased flesh upon the shelf
But my works are for not, I need the help

To bow down, trust and leave it to You
To change this mindset from wrong to true

For the world heavy and the life is hard
And my yoke is burdened for I’m only a bard

My thoughts are tortured by the arrows of fire
My dreams too are in a wrong path of desire
And the mirror that I view is the ultimate liar

So Jesus help me now to lay down the sight
To lay down ID, ego and my inner might
Transform and renew the thoughts to no longer bite
And make in me again a thinking that is right

But to know the battle is waged everyday
In sleep or in rouse my brain is the prey
Attacks always come for the enemy is in lay
And the only relief there is, is in The Way
For only the High Priest can grant this stay

Please teach me oh God not to wage this brawl
But on my knees dear God, to you I should crawl

To leave behind the sea of my intentions
And to pray for healing and restoration
Knowing that only You can provide this sublimation
Michelle Elizabeth Rogers - 04/24/09

Embracing the Leper

A Leper is a person who has been rejected or ostracized for unacceptable behavior, opinions, character, or the like; anathema; outcast. Since the disease of Leprosy is often rare, when referring to “A Leper”, one would think of the above definition. Like St. Francis, I must embrace the Leper to find the redemption and freedom that my soul so earnestly seeks. This Leper could be a portion of society that I avoid, hate or reject or this Leper could be the secret and shameful part of my soul that thwarts the growth in my Faith.

The internal Leper must be dealt with first. In order for me to see the world without fear and suspicion, without stereotypes and without ignorance, I must deal with my own internal questions, fear, doubt and distrust. Not only is this a present day wall that I call a ‘limitation’, but there is also that internal sin that shames me and impedes my growth as well. There is much to do on the inside in order to prepare for the embracing of the Leper (society).

Those that I fear, even myself are still called the embodiment of God’s beauty and all deserve to be loved. I am a unique and special creation of God, His works in me are genius, but so are those that stand around me. We are all special and unique, all genius creations of God. To see past the fear and hate and begin to see myself in others, to see Christ in others. To break down those barriers of limitations that drive and feed the ego that causes me to continue seeing in the shallow and stereotype filled world; this is what I strive for.

I am a caring and compassionate person and I like people, but I don’t know what it is that can take me from this place of openness and throws me against that wall of fear and suspicion over and over again. I know that “everyone” is a unique creation of God and His creative genius. And I know that to “embrace the Leper” is to embrace all people like Jesus did. So by embracing the Leper I am able to have victory over my judgement, my bigotry, my fear and my false assumptions.

In order for me to embrace the Leper, I must first embrace my internal Leper. The shame that hides in me, the fear that plagues my thoughts and wears down my heart, and the brokenness I still cling too. In order to do that I must “give God myself in my nakedness, in who I really am”. And who I really am is angry, afraid and shameful. I need to allow God to fix that brokenness and stay out of it, because my efforts will only be a hindrance.

Create in me a pure heart, O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from our presence or take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your Salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.[1]



What do I need to embrace in order to move forward and go deeper? I need to know not only in my mind but deep into my heart and my gut that we are all one in Christ Jesus. And that God sees my flaws and accepts them and me for who I am, not who I try to be. Just like Emerson’s symbol of the “Hand”; in unity (whether it is unity in me or unity within Christianity) is the only way for growth in Faith and in God. If one branch (finger) separates from its source (hand), than God’s purpose cannot be fulfilled.

“The Good News of the Gospel is that there is no Leper, we are all one in Christ!”

This is what I need to embrace in my daily walk of revelation, death and restoration. I continue to strive for that narrow way and press on up the mountain of God’s perfect plan for my life and those I can bless. The Leper I long to embrace!
[1] Psalm 51:10,12